just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
