In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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