I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
