Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
