I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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