I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
