I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
