better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
