I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
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currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
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A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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