You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize