Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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