dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
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I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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