For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
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I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
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She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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