He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
