you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
