if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We smell like vodka and hangover
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