duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
