I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
did i just pee glitter
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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