Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
