all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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