Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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