i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize