it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
