I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
