I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize