Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
