Your tits are I can't wait for
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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