she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
