were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
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