This girl is more easily done than said...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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