hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
