is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize