we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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