Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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