and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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