My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
