Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
