idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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