my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
