btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize