i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
