I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
