I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
