you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
