it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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