I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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