I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize