i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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