apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
