i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
