You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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