Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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