im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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