i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize