The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
