He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
