Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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