i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
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the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
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Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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